Last night I didn't get to sleep at all. No, no.

I lay awake in bed and watched tv till after midnight. Letterman was dull and I couldn't find any good movies or infomercials to watch, so I rolled over and tried to get to sleep. The next thing I knew it was 4 a.m. and I was wide awake again. My mind was racing so I turned the tv back on and scrolled through the channels. Conquest of the Planet of the Apes was on AMC and I watched it. I kept waiting for Charlton Heston to show up in a loincloth, only to find he wasn't in this one. Bummer. That's the reason I watch Planet of the Apes movies.

Hot!!!
So anyway, I watched tv for an hour (two?) then tried to get back to sleep. Things were good till the phone started ringing. I was completely out of it - I had been in a deep sleep and dreaming. I dreamt I was painting a watercolor portrait of my face and had to stop to get my young child ready for kindergarten. My husband came in and spilled something (coffee?) on my watercolor and ruined it, and that's when I was rudely awakened by the phone.

Wide awake again, I got up and went downstairs to get something to drink. I opened the fridge and that's when I saw the source of my insomnia sitting there all smug and shiny. My twice a year Pepsi craving had finally done me in.

Ah, damn you, Pepsi! God damn you all to hell!

PS. If you can name the song in the title of this post, you can have the rest of my (highly caffeinated) 20 oz Pepsi.