Jewelry catalog day

Every so often I get catalogs from the Diamond Cellar. They are big and glossy and colorful and fun to look at. I mean, come on, who doesn't like to drool over photos of 5 1/2 carat chocolate diamonds set into pink 18k gold and surrounded by .86 carats of tiny white diamonds? I know!

Mostly I look at them once and toss them into the recycle bin, but every so often there is an ad that takes my breath away. And this one got me today.


I tried to find the price of this watch online and the most I could determine is that it falls somewhere between 5 and 7 thousand dollars. But that's not what amazes me; it's this:


See how that model is posed? She could be standing in a park, leaning against a bench, waiting for her freshly groomed poodle to take a poo. But any sailor will tell you that that girl is hanging on for dear life! The seas don't look too rough but the sails are filled and believe me, that boat is lurching all over the place. I'll bet you a fancy green, orange and pink diamond ring accented with micro pave diamonds that the captain of the ship has turned to ask her if she's ok. Lucky for her that shadow on her face hides the seasick green.

And speaking of green...


TOMATOES!!!